Sunday, 17 May 2009

A Pleasure Postponed is a Pleasure Increased

When I grow up I am going to be a Life Coach. People are going to pay me to make their lives better. I will rid them of all the qualities that stop them enjoying life; ambition, aspiration, a work ethic, reliance on others, fear of consequences, high standards of hygiene etc. I will teach them how to love their sofa and forage for scraps. I will make my clients come and live in my house and I will drag them down to my level, down here in the gutter, looking up the skirts of passers-by. I also think that I might start farming dormice for food, in hundreds of tiny jars.

The Eurovision party was postponed. Best Girl had double-booked. We taped it and are going to watch it next week. The gowns remain in their scented boxes, the greasepaint in its tubs, the bridles and bits in the kitchen cupboard. I know who won, but that’s beside the point. Instead of watching Eurovision I spent the evening doing drunken patchwork and watching Snout kick the arses of cocky online Street Fighters.

Someone has written ‘Zoe bum dad’ on our wheelie bin.


  1. You are a fabulous writer, Sack Posset. Intelligence as a form of entertainment, depth of observation, creativity of expression, the whole package, absolutely brilliant writing, not just this piece, all of them.

  2. Thank you so much, Paul,and right back atcha - I heard your podcast this morning and it was luscious, like catbelly and dusk.