Tuesday, 31 March 2009

Just Say No To Alcohol

Most days I like to spend horizontal, belly-down and dreaming, haloed in skunk-smoke with my pen in my mouth. Today, however, was a day of action. I went to the library in my super neon Bat-Man trainers and came home with treasure including Taste: A Story of Britain Through Its Cooking by Kate Colquhoun, A Book of Nonsense by Mervyn Peake and Powers of Horror: An Essay on Abjection by Julia Kristeva. I am going to have dead funny dreams. On my way home I looked at all the rubbish I could see. Then we cleaned the house, more or less. When I emptied the toaster, out fell six toothpicks. That was a terrible fire hazard. Nobody admitted responsibility, but I don’t think I need to say who I suspect. Or what.....

I think the sentence “But who? Or what.......?” is one of the scariest in the world. I am proper squiffy. I have had the cheapest wine known to humanity, I have had it here, and I have had lots of it. And olives stuffed with whole cloves of garlic, the ultimate misanthropic snack. I will sign off with my thoughts on spring.

Underneath the eiderdown
Of prepubescent leaves
The purblind roots snout
And wean to green


  1. I hope you realise that this 'skunk' that you kidz smoke is more than 630 times more powerful than the 'peace-man' weed like wot they used to smoke in the olden days? It'll send you and anyone in a ten mile radius random-stab-happy within seconds, so be careful.
    [ lend us a 5 draw for the 'kend? ]

  2. hmmm no to alcohol...?
    no to drugs

    be careful with what ur taking...

  3. Mantecanaut - Very true. Personally, I like to shank at least five people before breakfast. Breakfast is, of course, crack and kittens.

    DS - Thank you for popping in and for your concern. I am careful - I always wear a condom when smoking weed. Guess where I wear it?

  4. Personally, I've retired my shank (a toothbrush) in favour of a shiv ( broken toothbrush with gaffa handle ).

  5. You are clearly a pro. It'll be boiling sugar water soon.